The Last House on the Left (1972)

I honestly don't understand how this movie could be classified as a horror flick. It's ironic, yes, it's tragic, yes, but horror? Only if you're a guy I guess. But even then I just don't see it.

This movie is from the era when filmmakers were allowed to say, "based on/inspired by actual events and names have been changed to protect those still living" even when it wasn't. Filmmakers were allowed to lie atrociously back then. So grateful they can't get away with this now!

Unfortunately, that's how I got suckered into watching the whole thing - I thought it was about two girls who survive...but that's not even close to what happened. In fact, it's so far from a horror movie it's pathetic. Oh, there's some hacking and slashing, but that's really about the extent of it.

This group of escaped convicts and the woman that helped them out manage to kidnap 2 girls looking to score some pot after a concert (remember, it's 1970's, that wasn't that rare of an occurrence!). What never made any sense to me is why the group felt they needed to run from the apartment they were holed up in, let alone why they'd do it with 2 girls in tow.

It's ironic that, as the group tries to runaway to a different state/country with the two girls (Mari and Phyllis) in tow, they end up breaking down right outside the house of Mari and drag the girls into the woods just across the street from the house. All of this while the cops are in the house talking to Mari's parents about her disappearance.

I wish I could say it got interesting from there, but alas, no. This is where it just kept rolling down hill into the crapsville. If the terrible music score wasn't bad enough, the keystone cops that ignore the broken down car (when they are well aware that there are fugitives on the loose) and run out of gas when trying to return to said car really make the movie that much worse. Seriously, because it said, "inspired by true events," this is where I began wondering. These "cops" couldn't possibly bungle things up this much, could they? If they were based on real cops, the answer would have been no, but because it was a bs premise to begin with, yes.

The idea that two girls could be kidnapped, raped, tortured, etc., is a decent premise, and one that could be scary...if it's done right, and not all focused on gore. Then it just becomes a gore flick rather than horror. There's a point where the "gore" makes a flick absurd rather than scary. That's what happened here. I wouldn't suggest this one. I'm not sure about the remake of this film. I might check out it just for kicks, but I'm not sure. I wish I could get the time I wasted watching this flick back!